…Or at least that is what one social media commentator wrote on a recent news clip of my children and me. Truth be told, there are a lot of moments where I would agree with her. Parenting is hard and even harder when I am doing my best. I constantly feel like I should do better. That’s the mom-guilt speaking.
“I bet she makes macaroni and cheese from a box,” said another online commentator. Well howdy-doody if that is the bar for BAD MOMS then at least I know I have some company!
As parents, we are all fighting daily battles to get through the mental gymnastics of schedules, meals, enrichment, and family, and somehow make time to be ourselves while being SELFLESS.
The TV news segment in question took me from the sanctuary of privacy in to a public forum. I simply wanted to tell my story about how motherhood spurred me to innovation as I saw a much needed change in caregiving. It was not long into my first pregnancy that I realized the “village” that other generations spoke about in reference to raising children was dead.
THE VILLAGE IS DIGITAL shouted the mom bloggers and mommy sites, which was great for late-night scrolling on sleepless night. BUT who was there to catch me when I fell?
The support system that came together for my family was a mesh of babysitters who became like sisters, friends who picked up the phone when their own children were crying, and daycare providers who let me drop my children off an hour early so I could make an appointment before work, and the extended family that went out of their way to help me create my family’s version of normal.
Even in our woke era, the stigma of the “working mom” still burns more than the “working dad.” For those of us that don’t have a choice to not to work, it is a burden that follows us as society where “they” expect us to “work like we don’t have children, and parent like we don’t work.” The struggle and balance is very real and overwhelming.
Well, I guess I am a "BAD MOM" because I need to provide for my family and that upsets some people’s paradigms. However, I am a "GREAT MOM" because I give myself grace and do my damn best every day while showing up for my family and friends.
To all the working moms, dads, care providers, and everyone in between - you are enough! Keep rocking it, the bar is low, make whatever version of macaroni and cheese that makes you happy.
With love and gratitude,