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How To Stop Toddler From Hitting - A Guide To Calm Your Little One Down

Parenting a toddler can be one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences you'll ever have. Unfortunately, it can also bring out some undesirable behavior in your little ones. Toddlers are still learning to express their feelings and frustrations, so hitting is not uncommon among young children. If possible, it's always best to put an end to this behavior as quickly as possible—but how? This blog post will explore specific examples of appropriate discipline methods to help your child stop hitting others and channel their energy into something positive.

Understanding why toddlers hit

It's important to understand why your toddler is hitting in the first place in order to figure out how to get them to stop. Many toddlers hit as a way of expressing their frustration or because they are angry or overwhelmed; some may even be trying to seek attention.

Toddlers can also mimic behavior that they have seen adults do. When addressing the issue of hitting, it's essential to try and identify what is causing the toddler's behavior. It's important to understand that your toddler hitting others is not simply "just a phase" and understanding the cause behind this aggression will help you to get your toddler to stop hitting other kids and replace this negative behavior with healthier communication methods.

Set clear limits and expectations to combat aggressive behavior

When dealing with a toddler who hits, setting clear boundaries and expectations from the beginning is essential. Explain calmly and firmly that hitting is an unacceptable behavior and discuss appropriate ways for them to express themselves when they are frustrated. Try to remain calm, as toddlers often pick up on and may mimic adult emotions.

Redirect their behavior:

When a toddler begins to hit, it's essential to redirect the behavior to stop it from happening again. Talk with your child about why hitting is unacceptable and then offer an alternative solution, such as talking or using words instead of physical aggression when feeling overwhelmed or frustrated. You can also provide positive reinforcement when they successfully use non-harming solutions instead of hitting to express themselves.

Encourage empathy:

It can be beneficial to teach your toddler empathy by explaining how their actions make other people feel when they are hurt by them, such as if they hit another child. Discuss ways to express their feelings and emotions, such as talking or using words instead of physical aggression.

Model the behavior you'd like them to have:

Modeling the behavior that you would like your toddler to imitate can really help you stop them from hitting others. Show them how to use appropriate body language when expressing themselves and demonstrate how to resolve conflicts without resorting to hitting. Additionally, work on building a strong bond with your child by spending quality time together, listen attentively when they speak, and provide positive reinforcement for good behavior.

Supervise playtime activities:

By supervising playtime activities, you can recognize any potential triggers for hitting before it happens and intervene early on to prevent an outburst from occurring. When supervising, you can encourage positive play and model appropriate behavior that your child can use when playing with other children.

Stay calm and do not react in anger:

It is essential to stay calm and not react in anger when your toddler begins to hit. Getting angry or yelling can worsen the situation, as it can teach your child that expressing emotions through physical aggression is acceptable. Instead, remain calm and use positive reinforcement and redirection when they misbehave.

Don't suppress your child's emotions

When your toddler is feeling overwhelmed or angry, it's important to allow them to express their emotions. It's completely normal for humans of all ages to experience emotions such as anger or frustration, so do not try to belittle your child's emotions in these situations. Instead, try showing your child that you understand their emotions and want to help them feel better.

Try to redirect their attention to something else:

When a toddler is beginning to show signs of frustration or anger, redirect their attention to something else. Provide them with an activity they can focus on, such as playing with a toy or listening to music. This can help them channel their energy away from hitting and into more positive activities.

Encourage positive physical activity: Physical activity can be a great way to help your toddler release tension and increase their emotional regulation skills. Encourage activities such as running, jumping, or dancing to help them expend energy in a healthy way.

Use positive reinforcement when they don't hit:

When your toddler can express themselves without hitting, it's essential to provide positive reinforcement. Acknowledge their effort and tell them how proud you are when they use non-harming strategies instead of resorting to physical aggression.

Provide playing opportunities: It can be beneficial to provide toddlers with plenty of playing opportunities, as it can help them learn how to interact appropriately with others. This also allows them to practice using words instead of physical aggression when feeling frustrated or overwhelmed.

Focus on your response, not your toddler's behavior:

Focusing on your response rather than your toddler's behavior can be helpful. It is important to remember that toddlers are still learning to express themselves and that physical aggression is often a way to communicate their needs or feelings. Accepting and understanding their emotions can help prevent further outbursts.

Provide consistency and clear limits:

Setting consistent and clear limits regarding physical aggression can help prevent hitting. Be sure to reinforce your expectations for your child's behavior and remind your toddler of any consequences that may occur from not meeting expectations.

It is possible to manage physical aggression in your toddler and create a safe space for them to express their emotions without hitting or scolding them. It is important to remember that toddlers need patience and understanding as they learn to regulate their emotions. With consistent guidance, loving support, and positive reinforcement, your toddler will soon be able to express themselves appropriately.

Praise your toddler when behaving as desired:

When your toddler can express themselves without resorting to physical aggression, praise them for their effort. Letting them know that you are proud of them for making the right choice will help encourage positive behavior in the future.

Give them an alternative way to express themselves, such as talking, drawing, or playing with toys:

Physical aggression is often a result of feeling overwhelmed or frustrated. Help your toddler find a healthy alternative to express their emotions by offering them other activities. Give them time to cool down and suggest activities such as talking, drawing, or playing with toys to help them constructively work through their feelings.

Monitor media consumption:

It is essential to keep an eye on what your toddler is exposed to in terms of media. While some screen time can be beneficial, too much can harm their behavior. Make sure that what they watch is age-appropriate and does not contain violent or aggressive content.

Offer comfort:

Above all else, it is essential to offer love and understanding when your toddler behaves aggressively. Let them know that you are there for them and will help guide them as they learn how to handle their feelings healthily. With patience, consistency, and support from you, your child will soon outgrow their physical aggression and become more emotionally mature.

Help them cope with frustration:

When your toddler feels overwhelmed, it can be difficult for them to make wise decisions. Teaching them strategies to cope with their frustration will help them manage their emotions and be better equipped to make the right choice in challenging situations. Offer helpful tips such as deep breathing or counting to 10, which can help them feel calmer and more in control of the problem.

Explain why certain behaviors are not acceptable:

It is essential to explain to your toddler why certain behaviors are wrong. Explain that hitting other people or throwing things is not an appropriate way of expressing anger or frustration, and discuss alternative methods they could have used instead. Talking about these topics openly will help your child understand why it is important to act calmly and respectfully when faced with difficult circumstances.

Model appropriate behavior and create a safe environment:

Children learn to understand appropriate and inappropriate behavior by watching their parents. Show your toddler that you can control your emotions by avoiding hitting, spanking, or engaging in aggressive behavior when frustrated. This will help them recognize that physical aggression is not an acceptable way to express feelings, and instead, they should use positive methods to manage their emotions.

Providing a safe and secure environment is critical to helping your toddler learn how to regulate their emotions and make good decisions. Make sure they have plenty of time to rest and play to stay calm and relaxed regularly. Additionally, establish clear rules and expectations for behavior, as this can help create a sense of security for your toddler. Having consistent rules gives them something concrete to rely on when faced with difficult choices or emotions.

Three steps to stop toddlers from hitting:

Step 1. Talk to your child:

When your toddler acts aggressively, the first step is to remove them from the situation and tell them that hitting is not acceptable. Be firm and consistent when responding to this behavior, as this will help your child understand that it will not be tolerated.

Step 2. Show them what to do instead of hitting:

Once your toddler has calmed down, it is essential to show them what to do instead of hitting. Redirect the behavior by suggesting alternative activities such as drawing, reading a book together, singing, or dancing. These activities can help distract your toddler from the situation and give them an outlet to express their emotions constructively.

Step 3. Offer positive reinforcement when they behave appropriately:

Once your toddler has begun to understand the consequences of hitting and learns how to express their emotions positively, it is essential to reinforce this behavior with praise. Give your toddler verbal and physical credit when they show gentle behavior, as this will help encourage them to continue making good decisions.


Learning how to regulate emotions and make good decisions is crucial to your toddler's development. With the proper guidance and support, you can help your toddler learn how to manage their big feelings and make positive choices. Establishing clear rules, rewarding positive behavior, providing a safe environment, and praising them for being gentle are all great steps for helping your toddler develop healthy decision-making skills that will last a lifetime.


 How do I stop my toddler from hitting?

Take a moment to grab your toddler to the side and explain that hitting behavior is not acceptable. Stay calm and speak calmly to your toddler and show them what to do instead of shooting, such as suggesting alternative activities like drawing, reading a book together, singing, or dancing. Once they have calmed down, remember to offer praise for being gentle to encourage positive behavior in the future.

What should I do if my toddler hits another child?

If your toddler hits another child you should quickly step in and explain to your toddler that hitting others is not the correct way for them to explain their feelings and encourage your child to apologize. Additionally suggest some alternative choices that your toddler can make when they feel angry. You can offer your apologies to the child's parents as well.

How can I encourage my toddler to make good decisions?

Establishing clear rules, rewarding positive behavior, providing a safe environment, and praising them for being gentle are all essential steps in helping your toddler develop healthy decision-making coping skills that will last a lifetime. Additionally, engaging in activities together, like reading or playing games, can also help teach your toddler about making good decisions.