“I was so embarrassed to have my babysitter find my sink full of dirty dishes.”
A mom friend and I were talking when she confessed she was struggling to keep it all together. This led to a deeper conversation about the societal pressures we face as mothers, the unrealistic expectations, and the negative self-talk that results from our inability to live up to these ideals.
I couldn’t stop thinking about what she said. I think we all need a reminder:
You find them in the supermarket, juggling a shopping cart, a cranky toddler, and a mental grocery list. They're in the office, working overtime to provide for their family. They're at home, making dinner while helping with homework and trying to keep the house somewhat tidy. While doing it all, sometimes you might feel like you're falling short.
Good moms have dirty dishes sitting in their sink.
Good moms leave laundry sitting in a basket for weeks on end.
Good moms say no to playdates because they’re exhausted.
Good moms run late for school pickup.
Good moms yell sometimes.
Society has taught many of us to believe that a 'good mom' is one who always keeps her cool, whose house is spotless, and who devotes every waking moment to her children. But these expectations are unrealistic and perhaps irrational. Being a good mom isn't about being perfect. It's about having the courage to be imperfect, to make mistakes, to make amends, and to continue on.
Being a good mom doesn't mean you never lose your cool. Because sometimes, after a long day of work and childcare, you’re going to feel frustrated and overwhelmed. And when your patience wears thin, it can be hard to keep your chill. What matters is that you try your best, and that your children know that they are loved and cared for.
Being a good mom doesn't mean putting yourself last. You’re a human with your own needs and desires. It's okay to want and need time for yourself, to care for your own well-being. It’s ok if that time for yourself means your house isn’t perfect. Because a happy, healthy mom is essential for happy, healthy kids.
It’s about time we shifted our perspective of what a 'good mom' is. A good mom is not a superhuman devoid of human flaws and big feelings. A good mom loves her children, gives her best, and knows it's okay to try again tomorrow.
